Overcoming Your Loved One's Addiction - change the focus

Living with a loved ones addiction in your life is hard - life changes, your family changes, and you change!!   From your old life - to the new reality where suddenly the world is revolving around the person who is using - the drinking or drugging & how to stop them doing this. 

Your focus on life shifts too.  You become afraid, terrified and soon to be desperate to get them to change.  Trying to hatch a plan - how do I get me loved one to change??  This stuff takes over your life and there is no space for much else once it has the control.  Fear, anger, desperation sets in after a time, as you try everything you know how to do to get your loved one to change.  You research it, you listen to the advice from others, you try that too - but nothing is working!!!

Your life becomes filled with FEAR, CHAOS & STRESS, you start walking on eggshells around your loved one and some others in the family.  You are caught up in the conflict of other peoples opinions and of what is the 'right' thing to do and what are the 'wrong' things to do.  You are probably in conflict with the drinker or user, as they do not agree there is a problem, and they are sick and tired of being reminded there is a problem.

HOW IS THIS HELPING YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONE??

IT IS NOT!!!

This focus does not work!!!!  I know when a loved one is using this can be terrifying, I know it is stressful and I know your stress levels rise!!!  I know the feelings of hopelessness, the feeling of desperation and I know how hard this is to survive.  I know all this because I have lived both sides of the fence and in 20 plus years of working as an Addiction Specialist - I have learned the most important stuff from the addicts and families I have worked with.

Let's talk a bit about the reality of having a loved one in addiction, and the chaos this has bought into your life, your home & your family.  Here is where you get the shock - you are creating your own realty, you are the one that is driving yourself mad, you are the one who is stressed and you are the one who are becoming unwell! We create our own reality.......

Everything revolving around your loved one and their use of alcohol or drugs needs to stop!!! I'm sure you were hoping that when they chnage the chaos will stop - not true there are just different things to stress over, different things to fear, the desperation still drives unhelpful strategies too.

You can change, and number one - you need to change this.....

You can only change self - and in changing self you will change the relationship you have with your loved one.  You will be able to start to enjoy life again and even have fun, regardless of what your loved one is doing.

The first step to overcoming your loved one's addiction is to make a decision that "I am going to get professional help, from someone who knows the traditional approach does not work and I am going to commit to changing how I am thinking, feeling and behaving, so I can regain my 'wellness', before I destroy myself.

The Traditional System is unlikely to help your loved one, there are long wait times for appointments, inadequate family involvement, no effective Relapse Prevention Plans and right now no-one - including your loved one, has any idea of how to approach this issue in a proactive way - everyone is waiting for someone else to take the first step toward change.

If you would like to know more - then lets chat: 
Click Here to Book a 30-minute Free Discovery Call with me